I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize