you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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