i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I AM VODKA MAN
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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