pedialite and red bull = repair kit
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
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