btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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