Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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