summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.