Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.

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  (813): I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came. http://tfl.nu/sa7y
  Replies (30) Good night (7299) Bad night (1011)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry

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  (214): would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry http://tfl.nu/l5su
  Replies (40) Good night (5777) Bad night (819)
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  (323): View more from California

  I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?

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  (323): I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes? http://tfl.nu/rey6
  Replies (16) Good night (1290) Bad night (5366)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.

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  (305): I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having. http://tfl.nu/q5k9
  Replies (17) Good night (3833) Bad night (1571)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south

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  (561): No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south http://tfl.nu/5xop
  Replies (4) Good night (2658) Bad night (850)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand

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  (413): he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand http://tfl.nu/zcon
  Replies (17) Good night (4023) Bad night (829)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage

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  (419): who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage http://tfl.nu/wlxq
  Replies (9) Good night (2875) Bad night (1513)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?

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  (719): Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I? http://tfl.nu/9iuq
  Replies (7) Good night (647) Bad night (1847)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.

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  (614): If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night. http://tfl.nu/mvnj
  Replies (2) Good night (939) Bad night (398)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?

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  (902): I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat? http://tfl.nu/t6q6
  Replies (5) Good night (990) Bad night (439)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.

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  (706): First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left. http://tfl.nu/7vi5
  Replies (4) Good night (1287) Bad night (399)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.

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  (305): Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning. http://tfl.nu/6foo
  Replies (0) Good night (637) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS

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  (+44): GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS http://tfl.nu/090f
  Replies (1) Good night (572) Bad night (374)
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  (760): View more from California

  Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.

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  (760): Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever. http://tfl.nu/884t
  Replies (0) Good night (688) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.

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  (865): She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser. http://tfl.nu/66td
  Replies (1) Good night (812) Bad night (291)

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