what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..