it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Randomize
