Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
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To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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