its not stalking. its research.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
