I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
