No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
