Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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