Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
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We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
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I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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