Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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