Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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