the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
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I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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