I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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