Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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