is your mom at the bar?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
