addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Randomize
