If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
