Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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