Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
