i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
