I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
either way he was missing a nipple.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
