Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
