Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
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We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Shame - the story of my life.
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