Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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