Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
