she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
