The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Your dad touched me again.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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