How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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