We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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