Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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