woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
