the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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