Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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