Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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