Where did you get a picture of my penis
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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