question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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