he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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