call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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