i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
