I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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