Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
