oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
what day is it and did you see me today?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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