How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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