I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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