i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
