you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
