Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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