just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
be right there i have to get my cape
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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