Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
