ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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