Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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