But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
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we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
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He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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